Morning Sickness: The Great Sham.

I understand that morning sickness strikes various women in different ways; some not at all.  I read on one website that symptoms may arise somewhere around 10 weeks and should be gone in the vicinity of 14.  In my case Wifey was struck flat from about the precise moment her 'condition' was realised.  This was only 5 weeks in and I'm told it was only the thrill of Disneyland keeping her going up until that point.

Exactly why morning sickness is so-named is a mystery to me.  I don't know if Wifey is just particularly pregnant, or what, but her symptoms have remained with her well into the afternoon.  Every day.  Still.

I am starting to wonder now if morning sickness was in fact an important evolutionary stepping stone in preparing the Western man for parenthood: Sure, it's a far-cry from wiping both ends every 10 mins (I gather that's required with an actual baby), but it is a move towards... attentiveness.

A friend told me of an island tribe which still practice a custom where, at the point of labour, women are taken away from the tribe (where they would be bound to disrupt the man-folk) and tied safely to a tree where they can give birth under the guidance of the experienced mothers.  They can then return to the tribe after a couple of days have past, when they are no longer flustered, the baby is all cleaned up and they've had an opportunity to get their hair right.

Granted this probably wouldn't fly in my society.  And let's be honest - nor should it.  As much as every guy jokes about the fact that he wishes he could be Don Draper getting hammered in the waiting room until the screaming's stopped and the baby isn't covered in birthing fluid, in reality there's no way they'd leave their dearly beloved in there alone.  Well maybe some would, but those guys probably shouldn't be fathers.  I will remain there copping all of Wifey's misplaced rage and letting her crush my hand to her heart's content.

But that, thankfully, is still some time down the way.  At this stage my preparation only goes as far as being attentive to Wifey's requirements in dealing with her "morning" sickness: having a bucket handy and plain-ish food and drinks at the ready.  Upon reflection that doesn't seem like a huge ask or task compared with what's still to come.

But the point remains that "morning sickness" is a huge misnomer: the implication that it is contained only to the hours before lunch exists just so the first hurdle of pregnancy doesn't seem so great that you put the whole thing off entirely.  Small steps.